Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
