According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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