Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
