so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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