so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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