That's when you crack a 10am beer
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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