I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
