it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
