So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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