You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
