So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
