3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Say something about gay babies.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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