i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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