I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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