What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
