i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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