I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm way too hungover for life right now
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
