Kareoke will never be a sober sport
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
