That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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