he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
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He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
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What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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