girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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