I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
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Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
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we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
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