Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
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