where am i from again
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
