Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
