Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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