Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Just cropdusted the office
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
