woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
