i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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