don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
