i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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