speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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