The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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