i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.