remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I have aggressive nipples.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.