I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
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You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
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I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame