hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.