Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
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We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
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It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.