i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
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Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
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Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books