Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Randomize
