I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize