I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
