I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
