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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand

  (816): View more from Missouri

  team rage. no explanation necessary

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• (206): View more from Washington

  In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Did it work?

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.

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• (619): View more from California

  No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else

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• (585): View more from New York

  I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties

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• (818): View more from California

  I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.

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