Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea