Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy