I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?