Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
