the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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