IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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