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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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