im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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