And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
