so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
how drunk are you?
Several
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
