when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize