im drinking this country out of the recession.
Farmville is her only friend.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
All I want is dick and wine.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize