"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
