ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
