your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
