When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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