I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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