it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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