I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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