would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
