Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
